


Invincible

by Riverdaughter



Category: JAG
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-29
Updated: 2016-10-29
Packaged: 2018-08-27 18:38:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 302
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8412190
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Riverdaughter/pseuds/Riverdaughter
Summary: Harm reflects on the split between him and the Admiral, the difference between how others see him and how he sees himself.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This grew out of watching the "Paraguay" episodes far too many times. They aren't the most uplifting but they do a lot to rip away the masks and take the characters away from their comfort zones even if those places aren't so nice after all.
> 
> In fact I find the whole end of the 8th and being of the 9th seasons a good study of who has grown up and who hasn't. Even in the nuances, the expressions, the tones there is a lot of character exposition.

Everyone I know acts as though I am invincible, untouchable, shielded from whatever life throws my way. 

Even Mac can't see it and she told me so once when drinking had loosened her tongue enough to say so to my face. 

I haven't bothered to disabuse them of the notion...why should I? It would only cause more problems not less. I have honed seeming strong to a fine art after all these years so it might as well be me. Someone has to seem in control, cocky, absolutely unyielding. So I am, or am I? 

Am I who I have made myself or someone else entirely? Someone forged out of the years of failures and anguish with a thread of victory holding me together? How can any man know who he is? We are judged by our actions by the whole world, but what are the actions really in comparison to the innermost thoughts of our hearts? 

I know better than anyone that I can fail, that I can smash into a thousand pieces. It's a chance I take whenever I fly, a chance whenever a case turns more dangerous or some psychopath fixes his sights on us. 

I can remember that I am beatable because no one else will. Even the Admiral thinks I am JAG's "golden boy". If only he knew. 

It's not that I am uninterested becoming the JAG or having a brilliant career, it just has never been a priority. It couldn't be if I wanted to find the truth in half the cases I have been tangled in.

That image shattered today for real...or may it first cracked when Singer was murdered. Either way now we can all see the pieces. I truly do hope that they do someone good even if it isn't me.


End file.
